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Bastard Download I am the bastard who plays boardgames I keep rollin' the dice but my luck don't change I am the bastard trying to deflate I chewed the fat and now I'm a tad overweight I'm the bastard for putting chores back I'd rather do crosswords than brush off the plaque I'm the bastard who can't really see A song about drinking was written for me (He's some kind of bastard) I'm a bastard (He's some kind of bastard) I'm the bastard, commander in chief I'll give you my drippin' but I don't want your beef I'm the bastard with hair like a mountain I'll prove it to you if you give me a count-in I'm the bastard who likes lumps that are saggy Concealed in clothes that are tight and not baggy I'm the bastard who took Mavis upstairs And passed her around like musical chairs (He's some kind of bastard) I'm a bastard (He's some kind of bastard) I'm a Bastard (He's some kind of bastard) I'm a bastard (He's some kind of bastard) Oh, bastard, yeah! I'm the bastard with several STD's At least it takes my mind off the price of cheese I'm the bastard with a rubber ducky I give it a bath when it gets down and dirty I'm the bastard with a teddy that's angry It's short and fat though it'd rather be gangly I'm the bastard who's written 'bout curly nails I'm sure I've even sung about cross-dressing males (He's some kind of bastard) I'm a bastard (He's some kind of bastard) I'm a Bastard (He's some kind of bastard) I'm a bastard (He's some kind of bastard) I'm a bastard, yeah! Bastard! --- Release notes: All words & music by Tico Jnr. What would a Tico Jnr. album without a smidgeon of self-indulgance? Here he waxes lyrical about his incredible-self and to wonderful effect. But, that is never enough for our Ti', as he throws in a face-melting solo to ensure he remains the best person in the world. 'A nice little song to close the album', squirms Tico. 'The album was done but I wanted one more'. Marvellous. The fourth and final single from the jovial album, before it's released in deluxe format. You can get get the single here.