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Unmistakably The Best Christmas Song... Ever! Download The last time she saw you, you were heading off to Bethlehem Off to see some baby with a couple of other men You packed your suitcase and mounted your donkey Turned and said 'bye, bye my love, don't wait up for me' You headed out into the night Got to catch a ferry before sunrise Popped into Ahmed's local cornershop To buy a Ginster's sausage roll and four cans of Panda Pop Ahmed asked where you gotta go 'Don't you be so nosey - it's not for you to know Don't suppose you know what myrrh is I need to buy a gift and I been told to buy this' After some to-and-fro you were back on your way A little unsure if you'd arrive by the big day With a little pursuasion the donk' picked up the pace You were sure you'd the first to see poor baby's face Travelling at a million miles an hour Only stopping for traffic lights and a brief shower You made it to Jerusalem with time to spare You gave yourself a rinse and put some lacquer in your hair But you left at home your sat nav It'd be difficult to find the address that you have You asked for directions at some local inn By the time you arrived they asked 'where the fuck have you been?' After spending time with the little brat Oh, fuck me, you'd had enough of that It was time for you to head on off home Don't you forget to give the missus a phone And she said... Have a very merry christmas Though you are no longer with us Have a very merry Christmas And a happy new year Christmas time, lots of tinsel and mulled wine Little brats singing Church of England rhymes, oh yeah --- Release notes: All words & music by Tico Jnr. except Whirly wahh by Terry Wrist Derived from a voicemail message left for Bri Jnr. where he had left to record an album with some other men, Tico Jnr. has come up with both the best Christmas song and b-side (Platinum Card Member) ever! You can get that single here. Regardless of what the Twitterati said, Tico Jnr. has been amazing. This song paints such vivids pictures in the heads on the listeners. The guitar work too evokes such loveliness. And maybe loneliness, or all those stay-at-home Mums at Christmas time. Tico Jnr. exclaimed 'I never meant to write something so good, but it just happened. I started at the start and eventually I got at the end. And I also got paid terrifically for some product placement'. It is said the maker of a popular mulled wine didn't offer sufficient payment so their name was removed and muddied in some graffiti on the 'Shard'.