Tico Jnr. | Singles | Unmistakably The Best Christmas Song... Ever!

Release notes:

What a lovely gesture. Tico Jnr. has decided up to cheer many nations - more than just those involved with the G7 summit - and release a Christmas bonanza.

Not only do we have a moment to absorb Unmistakably The Best Christmas Song... Ever!, but we can also purchase - for a fairly competitive price - associated merchandise, watch a jolly good cover and subscribe to receive an e-Christmas card. Tico Jnr. sure is generous!

A delicious b-side, Platinum Card Member, is served as an accompaniment, which is good all-year round. For the first time ever, a guest vocalist features on a Tico Jnr. track, and DJ Nana Maureen does a wonderful job! Well done.

This lovely jackanory tells a tale of when Tico Jnr. got his first switch card account and was often found wandering his overdraft. Of course, he is far too wealthy now to find himself in such a pickle, but as grounded as ever, Tico Jnr. has done this for the 'working man'.

Let there be no doubt - you will be hearing this in clubs and at raves when mass gatherings are allowed (at the time of writing they are not).

You can find the Tico Jnr. Christmas Special here.

Unmistakably The Best Christmas Song... Ever! - All words & music by Tico Jnr.
except Whirly wahh by Terry Wrist

Platinum Card Member (Feat. DJ Nana Maureen) - All words & music by Tico Jnr.
except deck operation & vocals by DJ Nana Maureen

Unmistakably The Best Christmas Song... Ever!

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The last time she saw you, you were heading off to Bethlehem
Off to see some baby with a couple of other men
You packed your suitcase and mounted your donkey
Turned and said 'bye, bye my love, don't wait up for me'

You headed out into the night
Got to catch a ferry before sunrise
Popped into Ahmed's local cornershop
To buy a Ginster's sausage roll and four cans of Panda Pop

Ahmed asked where you gotta go
'Don't you be so nosey - it's not for you to know
Don't suppose you know what myrrh is
I need to buy a gift and I been told to buy this'

After some to-and-fro you were back on your way
A little unsure if you'd arrive by the big day
With a little pursuasion the donk' picked up the pace
You were sure you'd the first to see poor baby's face
Travelling at a million miles an hour
Only stopping for traffic lights and a brief shower
You made it to Jerusalem with time to spare
You gave yourself a rinse and put some lacquer in your hair

But you left at home your sat nav
It'd be difficult to find the address that you have
You asked for directions at some local inn
By the time you arrived they asked 'where the fuck have you been?'

After spending time with the little brat
Oh, fuck me, you'd had enough of that
It was time for you to head on off home
Don't you forget to give the missus a phone

And she said...

Have a very merry christmas
Though you are no longer with us
Have a very merry Christmas
And a happy new year

Christmas time, lots of tinsel and mulled wine
Little brats singing Church of England rhymes, oh yeah

Platinum Card Member (Feat. DJ Nana Maureen)

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I'm a platinum card member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever and ever
As a bloomin' member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever
I'm a platinum card member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever and ever
As a flippin' member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever more

Applying couldn't have been simpler, it wasn't that hard
I got to enjoy the perks of my cheque guarantee card
A modest overdraft was arranged for emergencies
If I ever dipped into it you could charge as you please

As a platinum card member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever and ever
As a bloomin' member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever
As a platinum card member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever and ever
As a flippin' member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever more

Now I'm here queueing through your door
Following the lengthy complaints procedure
Never knew my responsibilities or read the t's and c's
When I dotted the i's and I crossed the t's

I was in ecstacy from the moment you told me
That you had finally accepted me

As a platinum card member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever and ever
As a bloomin' member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever
As a platinum card member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever and ever
As a flippin' member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever more

Visit your local branch to chat with a representative
You can pay in using your paying in book
Your cheque will take seven days to clear
You will receive your PIN within 10 days
As a platinum card member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever and ever
As a bloomin' member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever more