Tico Jnr. | The Muscles From Bretton

I Could Be Your Man

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With a high rate of success and a promise to clear any mess
In receipt of great acclaim, I won't tell a soul but I got no shame
I take pride in what I produce - it's ripe n' ready for use
Going door-to-door from Mumbai to Berlin then Baltimore

I got good genes and DNA
I'm free of disease I'm pleased to say
Just cover my fuel and bits from eBay too
And I'll be there for thee, hot and on time and ready

When you've no where left to go or money left to burn
Maybe get in touch, 'cos I could be the one
I come in the back of my van, driven by success - I am
I can do it, baby, let me - let me be your man

I'll travel any distance for you, that's what I'm about and do
When my laptop has booted the task in hand will be executed
I keep my curtains closed, I don't want my body exposed
Gotta be careful not to spill it, I don't want my jizz on the carpet
My syringe will suck it up then wish you the best of luck
I'll be ready to handover - I gotta keep calm, I gotta keep my composure
I place it in your hand as you're stood there where you stand
Then I say bye-bye with a wink and take a sup of my organic drink

I'll send an invoice for my sperm
It's needed for the purpose my tax return
Just cover my fuel and bits from eBay too
And I'll be there for you if you choose to pick me

When you've no where left to go or money left to burn
Maybe get in touch, 'cos I could be the one
I come in the back of my van, driven by success - I am
I can do it, baby, let me - let me be your man

I'm winding down my business needs
But I've still got targets to exceed
Just cover my fuel and bits from eBay too
And I'll be there, woah, yeah

When you've no where left to go or money left to burn
Maybe get in touch, 'cos I could be the one
I come in the back of my van, driven by success - I am
I can do it, baby, let me - let me be your...

When you've no where left to go or money left to burn
Maybe get in touch, 'cos I could be the one
I come in the back of my van, driven by success - I am
I can do it, baby, let me - let me be your man

Let me do it... go on!

My wife knows all about it - it was easy to tell her
I didn't do it over text I thought over a meal would be far better
She offered suggestions on my advertising FaceBook ad
Her feedback was scathing, but, overall she said it wasn't bad
No, I won't pay child support because of what I read on some web-sites
If the little bastards want money then I'm gonna want my access rights
Oh, I just love the feeling, love the feeling, like I'm Genghis Khan
If anyone's got a problem then... wha-fucking-gwan?

Wha-fucking-gwan!

---

Release notes:

All words & music by Tico Jnr.

Already a favourite on the underground scene, this number was inspired by a video our precious Tic' saw on YouTube of a gentleman who was / is an unlicensed sperm donor. What a tremendous gentlemen he seems!

'The song wrote itself really - and in parallel with the video', shouts a sweaty Tico. 'As my jotter scribbled on the jotting pad, I knew this was going to be terrific'. I immediately played some lovely guitar to accompany the tender lyrics, and here we are. Smashing.

Tico smirks 'I have cleverly crafted a 'nod' to Pato Banton during the outro, despite him not being an unlicensed sperm donor - as far as I am aware, anyway!'