Tico Jnr. | Singles | A Formal Complaint

Release notes:

In the same manner that Tico goes from bed to bed with different women, he has decided to go from controversy to controversy.

Still embroiled in a legal wrangle from the Insatiable Girl With Pubic Hair riff from Tico's debut album, he's now in a spot of bother with using and abusing Bri's 'vocal' on this ditty. And the trouble continues! He's now slamming mobile phone provider's, with the wonderful b-side, I Wanna Pay As I Go.

Tico has not gone on record and pointed any fingers at who his dissatisfaction is aimed at this time. 'It's EE', chortles Tico. Well, that clears that up.

A Formal Complaint - All words & music by Tico Jnr., except
Angry voicemail (telephone message) by Bri Jnr. and... Jealous 'ooh' by a member of the royal family
I Wanna Pay As I Go - All words & music by Tico Jnr.

A Formal Complaint (Feat. Bri Jnr.)

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I ordered me a delivery and received the box of broken biscuits several minutes late
I wish to make a formal complaint but I'm not to sure what's the best approach for me to take

Yo, dear proprietor of my favourite treat
I'm you jotting you this note so angry I got a nose bleed
I wish I could make feel how much I hurt
I've waited far too long just to get my dessert
Yeah, I get it, you may be a little bit busy
I'm just a customer but don't start dissin' me
I wanna know the reason for this silly delay
Did your driver chuff it up and make my grub go astray?
I wonder if you think of me placing my order
I know you know I'm calling with my speech disorder
Don't we have a contract binding between us
Deliver on time and there wouldn't such a fuss
Well, I think I've written enough with my pen
I hope you don't let me down... again
Please try to find the time to let me know
Warmest regards, signed Tico

I ordered me a delivery and received the box of broken biscuits several minutes late
I wish to make a formal complaint but I'm not to sure what's the best approach for me to take

Hey, propriet's, where's my letter?
I thought you'd write me back and make it all a bit better
But nothing from you slithers through my door
The more I'm left to wait, the more I hate you more
Oh, I heard you put your prices up too
Do you think anyone will purchase from you?
Go on and send me a money-off voucher
And prove to me I can't live without you
Your business must be doing jolly good
I heard you moved to an affluent neighbourhood
Yeah, I know all about where you be
I've been there before, though just to sight-see (uh)
So, come on, write me a letter back
Don't make me come to yo' cul-de-sac
I'm giving you a deadline of just one week
Kind regards, yeah - this is Tic'

I ordered me a delivery and received the box of broken biscuits several minutes late
I wish to make a formal complaint but I'm not to sure what's the best approach for me to take
I ordered me a delivery and received the box of broken biscuits several minutes late
I wish to make a formal complaint but I'm not to sure what's the best approach for me to take

Woah... Tico, I've been meaning to let you know but you just slipped my mind
You're all rigmarole, a pathetic little troll whose words are so unkind

I ordered me a delivery and received the box of broken biscuits several minutes late
I wish to make a formal complaint but I'm not to sure what's the best approach for me to take
I ordered me a delivery and received the box of broken biscuits several minutes late
I wish to make a formal complaint but I'm not to sure what's the best approach for me to take

I ordered me a delivery, yeah
It's an order, an order... yeah

I Wanna Pay As I Go

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I adhered to the contract
I did it each and every day, Monday-through-Sunday
But now the term has expired
Let me flourish and fly away, up in the sky like a jet plane

You tied me up in knots
And got me titties in a tangle
This deal's cost me lots n' lots
Strapped me down by my wrists and cankles

I was never able to get through to you
But, now there's never ending phone calls and letters, they have become relentless
You're bugging me for one more chance
The offer of a 24 month deal, then at the end see how I feel

Your offer sounds enticing
But you're fighting a losing battle
I don't like your pricing
So quit your tittle-tattle

I wanna pay as I go
And for exactly where I went
I wanna pay for what I use
And choose what I spend

Get me my fucking PAC code
And cancel my Direct Debit
I paid-off what is owed
It's my money - you can't have it

I wanna pay as I go
And for exactly where I went
I wanna pay for what I use
And choose what I spend

I wanna pay as I go
And not some bastard fee that you set
I wanna pay for what I use
I don't wanna upgrade...

I wanna pay as I go
And for exactly where I went
I wanna pay for what I use
And choose what I spend

I wanna pay as I go
And not some bastard fee that you set
I wanna pay for what I use
I don't wanna upgrade my handset