Tico Jnr. | Lazy. Sexy. Cool (Deluxe) | Platinum Card Member (Feat. DJ Nana Maureen)

Platinum Card Member (Feat. DJ Nana Maureen)

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I'm a platinum card member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever and ever
As a bloomin' member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever
I'm a platinum card member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever and ever
As a flippin' member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever more

Applying couldn't have been simpler, it wasn't that hard
I got to enjoy the perks of my cheque guarantee card
A modest overdraft was arranged for emergencies
If I ever dipped into it you could charge as you please

As a platinum card member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever and ever
As a bloomin' member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever
As a platinum card member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever and ever
As a flippin' member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever more

Now I'm here queueing through your door
Following the lengthy complaints procedure
Never knew my responsibilities or read the t's and c's
When I dotted the i's and I crossed the t's

I was in ecstacy from the moment you told me
That you had finally accepted me

As a platinum card member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever and ever
As a bloomin' member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever
As a platinum card member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever and ever
As a flippin' member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever more

Visit your local branch to chat with a representative
You can pay in using your paying in book
Your cheque will take seven days to clear
You will receive your PIN within 10 days
As a platinum card member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever and ever
As a bloomin' member
It feels like I been banking wi'choo forever more

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Release notes:

All words & music by Tico Jnr.,
except deck operation & vocals by DJ Nana Maureen

The Twitterati were loving this when it featured as a b-side. With polls asking if Tico Jnr. was still a platinum card member, and whether his complaint was upheld, this got tongues wagging and fingertips key-pressing.

The career of DJ Nana Maureen hasn't quite taken off (in fact, it has bombed following her recent visit to Syria (no pun intended)), but who cares - Tico Jnr. has done rather well. Good on him!